Games where you play with your legs in front of you...

Yeah, I know it's been ages since I last wrote soomfin but I found out soon after writing the first coople that blogging is actually really fookin boring. In fact that might be my next article, why I hate blogging and people who do it.

Anyway, that's not what this one is about. This one is about the bane of everyone's lives. I am sure many people will read this next section and relate to it very closely. It is soomfin that bovers us all...yes that's right ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about games that you have to play with your feet out in front of you.

I know, right! Fookin' annoyin' isn't it?! What?! You don't know what I mean? What's the matter wiv you? I'm talking aboot games you have to lie down on the fookin' grass to play and you don't know where to put your legs. Here is why I hate it:

1. Like I said, you don't know where to put your legs and you are left with two options - sit with them out in front of you or lie down with out the back. Wiv the first one it's fookin' annoying having to lean forward to place your cards down every time. Wiv the secoond you are ok for about two, three minutes max, then your blooody arm starts aching from holding your head oop. It's fookin' gay!
2. It happens a lot...like once or twice a year!
3. The games you play are usually shit!
4. You look like a gay sittin' in a circle with all your friends on the lawn. I'm not a bloody' TellyTubbie!
5. It's not football.
6. My Animal (registered trademark) shirt gets graass stains on it.

Apart from that it's alright I suppose. It's not the gayiest thing in the whole word but it's close. The only fings gayer are Inder and Inder's idea to carry everything all the way round the blooody Lake District. I mean coomon! We've got fookin' beers and food and god knows what and he wants to carry 'em all. Fook me! I know he's been workin' out but he ain't blooody Arnie is he?

Signing off...Sean Douglass (a.k.a. God).